I’m so good at restraining myself and denying myself the things I love.
/
Perhaps life lived in privacy is more valuable than life lived in the public eye. “Rarity” and “exclusivity” are still prized. We value what we have less of. Not necessarily because of scarcity… but simply because we appreciate its finiteness. Even if things are infinite… they’re infinitely changing so they’re never the same.
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The balance of letting go and trusting that newness will emerge and the cradling of what already is.
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Universal themes with never ending spirals and questions. Which route is right? This life is a confusing mirage. The more you try to grasp it the more it eludes you. The more you chase it, the more it runs.
[…]
Silence.
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I think I’m trying to “give birth” prematurely. I’m forcing myself to be ready in a season when I’m not. “Up” time is an illusion. There are always more downs than ups. Even on this planet… more flat grounds, basins, pools and valleys than mountains. Where am I rushing to? There’s no pleasure, no enjoyment in my process. I “eat fast” and wonder why I haven’t tasted anything… Simply because I was too impatient to savour the moment, to allow my senses to work their magic, to let it be a full body experience.
I wonder if presence scares me. Why else would I be running away from it in the hopeful illusion that the next moment will be better?
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This dry life does not serve me. I want my life to be succulent and juicy. Enough with the stale bread!
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PSA: I’m allowed to enjoy my life!
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I love synchronicities — little magical moments of reassurance that things are adding up and you’re following *a* path.
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Note to self:
When you’re doing what you love, discipline is the default. Design the environment so that executing the desired tasks are inevitable.
until next time
xB
loooooooooove